People don’t craft the stories, stories craft them.
I’m Naz, 17, started my second year in college.
I returned from college and started using Facebook, my college friend made an account for me. It was quite fun here, being connected to anyone you want.
Interacting with new people, anyone I wanted to. New friend requests everyday, But I wasn’t too quick in accepting them.
One day, I received a message,
“Either it’s your name or your photo, I’m failed to decide which is more beautiful, I thought I should get your opinion”
I smiled but didn’t answer. After scrolling through my newsfeed couple of times. I decided to take a nap.
Not trying to be poetic but yes, his words were still in ears. I couldn’t sleep for a while.
I was thinking,
This is first time some guy said such thing to me,
It’s sweet… But wait, I don’t know him
If he really likes me?
It’s no harm in having a little discussion
In the night, I picked my phone and open my Messenger.
There was another text from him,
Pardon me. Didn’t want to offend you. Stay blessed :)
He was behaving decently. I had a bit bigger smile on my face.
Without thinking for another minute, I replied
I just don’t respond to such queries by the strangers.
I remember I checked my phone after every 30 minutes. He didn’t read and respond then I went to sleep.
Next day, I stalked his profile for once (or twice) during lecture (Yes, phone aren’t allowed in college but I took it with me that day.)
In the evening, I was in the study, doing my assignment.
Messenger bell rang and I rushed to see it. It was him :)
Hmm… Then let’s know each other first.
Is it any harm in it?
I stopped for few seconds. I choose different words than those in my mind.
Strangers are always strangers.
I’m not allowed to have talks with strangers.
I started thinking
Was I too rude with him?
If he didn’t respond?
It’s fine. I shouldn’t be worried
I tried to resume my focus on the assignment again.
I picked up the phone again, read his texts and tried to judge him based on his use of words. Repeated this for a couple of times.
I used to put my phone on charge while sleeping but that day I decided not to. I went to bed and started going thru his profile, again.
He was an athlete, loves music and romantic movies. I concluded from his profile. I don’t remember when I slept.
4 O’Clock in the morning, my cell phone rang, Messenger, it was him. Well, first I thought it’s a dream. It wasn’t. The message was real. I decreased the brightness of my phone and rubbed my eyes.
Hamza: I can’t believe a beautiful girl like you can be so unkind to strangers even.
My phone’s battery was only 3%. I got out of the bed and sat with the wall on the floor to charge my phone and respond his text.
It’s bit unsafe.
But ok. Tell me about you.
My previous years of life, I believed there is something missing in me, I’m empty. I need to fill it, may be it’s the love?
I needed someone that can bring out the soul in me, love in me.
I’m a doctor.
Just completed my degree.
Now practising in government hospital.
We are from same city.
Doctor…. it’s the most respected job in my country, for both girls and boys. I’m also doing my pre-medical studies.
I told him about myself, my college and where I live.
Soon, we became friends. Very Good friends, I assumed
He was like my diary. Used to share everything with him, everyday. His nature was very comforting….. I felt relax talking to him.
It was winter evening, I was talking to him while enjoying my tea. Wonderful, was, that evening. He asked me to be his Girl friend.
The flower in my heart, needed some room to bloom. He was offering this to me. I agreed without a second thought.
We talked whole night, I felt his love… inside me. Flowing through my whole body. In a night, I felt I belong to him now. I had too much love for him but not the enough words to describe it.
Want to see you.
me? now? how?
I hope you have your photos in your gallery
I felt being needed, stronger and loved. Isn’t what we all need?
He seems to be very happy to receive them. Sent some emojis to me. His compliments meant a lot to me.
Photos of every ceremony, every event, I used to send him. As always, he made me feel loved. I felt out of this world.
My heart, voice and mind felt to be synchronised. I was always thankful to him. I was learning more about myself, desires that drive me.
My happiness was originating from a single person. I choose love, peace and laughter for me. He was everything for me…. Love of my life.
In the middle of the night….
In my heart….
Like every night, we were having chat, sending kisses and hugs to each other. He was guardian… of my happiness and peace of mind.
Comer over me… let’s sleep together.
It was lovely to have such conversation with him. To sleep on his arm every night, hugging him tightly.
Come and sit with me…
Take a breathe
And give me heat…
To make me smile
Want to spend…
This eve with you…
Make my night
My life eternal!
The day…… I die… !
Sometimes you meet someone and it’s obvious that you are meant to be together,
Want to see you…
I sent him my photos…
These are beautiful…
Let us be together… Nothing between us,
I couldn’t comprehend.
I want to see you like your own eyes, own soul…
Show me yourself… without clothes… let me see your beauty my love
“4 Photos sent”
I was not sorry for the choice I made, after all, he loves me and deserves to see me the way he wants. To whom I belong, other than him?
He got familiar to every inch of the skin on my body, within few months. I felt happy, doing everything I can for the love of my life.
I recreated myself, my soul…. to meet his needs
…to fulfil his desires.
I wonder how life would be, If I had met you little earlier in life.
My every morning starts by you and my day ends with the hope that tomorrow will be more beautiful than today…. with you!
I was just going to complete my college. Usually, this is the time to get married in my culture. Girls don’t speak for themselves about marriage,
Now it’s the time…
To be together forever…
Make me your Queen now…
Send your parents to my home…
I was mentally prepared to face his parents. But praying…. nothing may go wrong from my side. I knew he can convince his parents.
A house in northern areas of Pakistan…
In winter, covered with snow….
In summer, surrounded by the beautiful flowers of spring,
Spring of our life….. One life!
I had an accident,
I missed you in the hospital, I teared
When I think about you…
About your laughs..
About your tears..
When I think of your tears!
I got worried my Dear!
Why you were weeping?
For whom you weep?
Who gave you tears?
If it’s possible
I will never give you tears!
I…… I…… I……
I can’t stand tears in your eyes!
When I’m not with you
You should cry for me
You should pray for me
You should beg for me
Only for me….
O my love….
I cried, but happy….. he loves me.
After a month….
When your parents are coming?
My Parents? for what?
Our marriage :)
They are in America yet.
When will they return?
I’m going America too, for further studies.
But…. It wasn’t planned. Is it?
That day will be the glorious day of my life!
O my God!
If that day is not…
Coming in my life!
I want to die…!
I can’t live “without you”
“I think you don’t know about Facebook Friendships” That’s what he said. He added, “If you want to keep it, otherwise Bye”
“Love of my life….. Hubby”
“You cannot reply to this conversation. Either the recipient’s account was disabled or its privacy settings don’t allow replies.” said the Facebook.
I was silent…. Don’t remember how much time.
Counting my each and every breath
It was too heavy
Couldn’t kill myself,
not because it was difficult,
but I wanted to wait for him…
To come to me…
Loved to scratch my arms, legs and chest with blades and sharp knives.
I thought, I was flying with him…But!
It was pit without bottom and I was falling in it
Alas! I couldn’t remember his face,
He never sent me his photo,
Even his phone number…
I knew nothing! He never shared it.
What I have done?
The whole castle was based on the Facebook chat with a stranger and the dirt of fallen castle was all over my heart and brain.
Every day was the more worst than the previous.
I trusted him and let him blind me.
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Thankful to my friend Naima Mansoor for sending me some of his amazing work — words….